Gaah I miss him..I'm just ready to cry and let the tears out..?

by admin on March 17, 2011

Five years ago,my best friend passed away in a horrible accident,and even though it’s been that long,I still grieve over him. I know to some people that’s ridiculous,but they don’t understand at all. I’m still going through the grieving process,and I don’t care how long it takes,just needed to clear that up.
Earlier today I went to the store with my mom,and the store we went to is the store my best friend used to work at. He worked for numerous sections,but mostly the deli. And since then,I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I know it’s because I miss him so much,and am desperate to get him back,especially being at his old work..it reminds me too much of him. He was a very gentle,loving man..and he was only 18 years old when he passed away. But I just can’t do it..I feel like crying. I have a reason for not crying right now,but in a few hours,I’m going to be completely alone..and just let it all out. But everything reminds me of him,how can I stop thinking about it so much? He died a horrible death,and I just wish it was me. And NO,I’m not suicidal,in the past I’ve considered it,but that was a year or two ago. I’m not going to get over it or move on,I’ve lost a few important people in my life,but NOTHING is compared to his loss. I just feel like I can’t go on,like there’s a big chunk of my heart missing..when he left,everything just went downhill. And the thing that upsets me is no one even acts as if they remember him,of course most of his friends and family moved,so it could just be me? But when he was alive,he was pretty well known,I’m not saying he was a ‘local celebrity’,lol,I’m just saying. At his old workplace,there’s no pictures or dedications to him..and I’m wondering why. Really?
Sorry for the ranting..I just feel ike spilling my heart out on here. Anyways,how can I start feeling a little bit better? I know he’s in a better place,and I know he can’t hurt no more..but it still kills me inside. 🙁
Thanx
ALSO:Sorry if this is in the wrong section,but I think it is.

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    { 1 comment… read it below or add one }

    Tonya March 17, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    you will never get over it but there will come a time when it’s easier. My mom died 11 years ago and i still cry and everything reminds me of her, especially when i look in the mirror. Lol. But really, what your going through is normal. Everyone grieves in differant ways. Some people handle death better than others. If you feel like crying everyday then do it. And like you said, he is in a much better place than we are. In all actuality he’s better off than we are, death is harder on those of us left behind. Remember cry all you need to and trust me it gets better. Good luck honey.

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