Was it wrong of me to hang out with my male friend in the workplace?

by admin on August 17, 2011

I thought thT he had work yesterday (my first day) but he didn’t and he waited outside of the library all day for me to finish work. While I was working I excused myself and went out to tell him to leave but it turned into a conversation that lasted 5-10 minutes.
While I was working he came over and said hi. I glowered at him and told him to go away. He did.
After work, I went outside for a breath of air and found him sitting on the bench so we talked and I saw my boss walk by and sort of glare at us. I’m not sure. Sometimes I think that she has a harsh expression on her face when really, she’s very nice.
Anyways I figured that it was alright because a. We were discussing literary theory and philosophy
B. I was finished with my shift.

Then it began to rain and we went inside and talked in the back of the library (an accident- we started by discussing screenplays and the decline of proper acting and drifted back)
An hour and a half later, my mum found me and got mad at me and told me that that sort of behavior is unacceptable in the workplace.
She began lecturing me on my reputation because my friend disappeared as soon as she appeared and she says that he had "something else" in mind.

A. I have a reputation as an intolerable prude which I intend to keep.
B. I know that these actions were impetuous and immature- especially on my first day working but a. We were having an intelligent conversation and b. As I said- it was innocent.

What can I do to set things straight? It was innocent kaffeeklatsch but because of my age, double standards, and the circumstances I can imagine that my coworkers and employers may imagine otherwise or may not think that I am a good employee when on the contrary, I love my job and would do anything to excel in it and keep it

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    { 2 comments… read them below or add one }

    Jeanbug August 17, 2011 at 2:34 am

    So, basically, you were caught canoodling with your boyfriend in the stacks and got caught by your Mum.

    She’s right in that this is unacceptable workplace behavior. When "on the clock" you are expected to work, not engage your BF in 90 minute discussions about the theater arts. Those discussions are for after you’ve clocked out for the day.

    Nutty Chocolatier August 17, 2011 at 2:34 am

    Your mom can’t fire you, and you aren’t even certain that your boss was angry. I think your job is safe.

    As for your reputation and behaviour, life isn’t always fair. We all have to play by rules that we don’t like. Just deal with it. In the future, don’t socialise in the dark nether regions of the library.
    (On a related topic, I find it hard to believe that this guy is just your friend. You may see it that way, but I don’t think he does. It’s not really normal for a person to wait around all day to talk to someone who is nothing more than a platonic friend. If I can see that in a few paragraphs of text, you can bet that people who know you for real see it too.)

    One other thing, though: most of this question is about what happened after your shift, but you did admit to leaving your post for 15 minutes. That’s not acceptable workplace behaviour, and getting caught doing that a few times WILL get you fired.

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